Mash this.

My theory of mash-ups:

Mash-ups are those music pieces where people cut together two or more songs with a similar chord pattern and/or beat. They are way popular, and there are clubs (including the monthly Bootie LA) which feature them exclusively and draw big and diverse crowds. The times I've been have been quite fun, I won't lie to you about that, but mostly because of the diverse crowd and company rather than because of the music.

In short, the mash-up is, in my view, a radically overrated form of art.


Mash-ups come in three basic categories:

1. Two crap songs mashed together. (About 80%):

Mash-ups were born of dance culture, and since most music designed primarily to maintain rhythmic dancing behavior, especially across changes in (so-called) songs involves the construction of basically crap music in all other respects (in order that the beat can stay constant), most mash-ups involve the mixing together of two crap dance songs. Two craps does not, a musical extravaganza, make. It makes one giant crap. Note, the very raison d'etre of most dance music (see above) results in the bizarre fact that one can often barely tell the songs in this category are mash-ups at all, since they are indistinguishable from the crappy elements that went into their construction.


2. A song you really like mashed up with a crap song (About 18%):

You've been there I know. The first chords or opening riff of an awesome indie-power-pop-rock masterpiece inspire you from your 120 b.p.m. induced ennui. You carefully stow your plastic cup'o absolut-cran and head for the dance floor. By the time the riff has ended of course, and you are ready to rock out, the awesomeness of the catchy melodic and totally-dancable-in-its-own-right riff has been usurped by some or other crappy dance-gangsta-rap bullshit. Or worse, something by Michael Jackson.


3. Two songs you really like (About 2%).

These are tolerable, but still less good than each song individually (and way less good than each song serially). So at least, I submit. That is not to say that occasionally, one does not hear a really good one. And so, to prove that I'm open minded, I give you Snow Patrol vs The Police:

Welcome!!! Start HERE!!!

Welcome to my blog.

So the posts below are a handful of re-posts from the blog I used to write (only occasionally) at Myspace. I thought I might start blogging again, and so I transferred a few over for old times sake, and to make it look less bare here while I decide on something new to write.

Watch, as they say, this space.

Children versus SUVs

REPOST: November 2006


I don't own an SUV.

I have no imminent plans to buy one.

However, I would not feel guilty if I did choose to buy one and consume however much gas it would take to drive it around.

How can I justify this?

Well, I'm not having kids. Not now, not ever.

This means I will free up, for the future, all the resources that these potential children might have consumed, as well as any resources that might have been consumed by the children that my not-to-be-had children might have produced. I will have saved the future environment from a potentially indefinite amount of damage. Yay for me.

The damage that I might cause in the future driving my future dark blue SUV back and forth between Los Angeles and Santa Barbara pales into insignificance.

Be environmentally friendly: Don't breed.

I must see if you can buy bumper stickers that say something like that.

No Need To Be Downhearted

REPOST: July 2007

... is the title of The Electric Soft Parade's third full length album. It was released a couple months ago over here by Better Looking records.

I don't do this often, but I really have to share with you a few reasons why for me this is almost certainly going to turn out to be the best album of 2007. By a ways.

Electric Soft Parade are Thom White (lead vocals and guitar) and Alex White (lead vocals, guitar and keyboards) who together are the driving force and founders, joined by the two Mats -- Matthew Twaites on bass (who as well as being a kickass bass player is cuter than a button) and Matthew Priest on drums (who as well as keeping the backline thumping used to play for the UK indie band 'Dodgy', and who is also cute, but not like a button is cute).





I wrote a blog a while back when these guys were in town and played a couple shows. one at Boardner's and one at Spaceland (pictured above). They also did a set for Nic Harcourt's show on KCRW that you can check out here.

At that time it was the first time I had really heard the new material (aside from the show I caught a couple months earlier at Spaceland), and now I've had a chance to let it settle in I'm ready to tell you why you should go buy this album.

This band has always been innovative. Even early on when they were more 'indie guitar' oriented, at the time of their first album Holes In the Wall, there would be, alongside the catchy indie pop perfection of 'Something's Got To Give', 'Empty At The End' and 'There's A Silence', to name but three, absolute genius tracks that pushed boundaries like the nine minute album version of 'Silent To The Dark', and the rocked out intro song 'Start Again'.

Their second album did not do so well. They were less concerned here about pop catchiness and developed their sound with far more interesting and unusual songs, but where the song structures were less obvious and less accessible. Nonetheless there are amazing tracks -- the totally rocking opener 'Bruxellisation', and 'Lose Yr Frown' are two that come right to mind, as well as the epic 'American Adventure' itself.

Then came 'The Human Body' EP (though at 7 tracks, it's heftier than most EPs, and has more tracks than most Marillion albums ever did). This previews the sound they achieve on the new album (indeed, Cold World, more of which later) is featured here and on the new album. My favorite track here is 'Stupid Mistake', but I digress.

I'm here to tell you about....

No Need To Be Downhearted marks the pinnacle so far. In this third album they don;t give up on anything they've achieved, effortlessly blending the perfect pop tunes that catch your consciousness and stick there -- but in such a good way -- with more thoughtful and deeper material where the chord progressions and song structure for a second there really make you think something might be wrong, before resolving and leaving you feeling embarrassed for having doubted even for a moment.

Their influences are wide and varied. It's hard to pick out individual bands that have contributed to their sound -- the chord progressions sound like nothing I've heard before, but there are times where you think you might be hearing the best parts of some of your favorite old school UK indie bands. Never enough to be sure, but wasn't that like something off The Stone Roses' first album (Appropriate Ending) or was that there from something off an early Ride track (Come Back Inside)?

The most accesible song is probably 'If That's The Case Then I Don't Know" -- it's amazing live and amazing recorded too. It was a single and has a driving high guitar sound tearing at you from the outset, accompanied by piercing but minimal keyboard punches, complimented by a more 'rock' riff, kicking in after a couple measure or so, that just grabs and doesn't let go. "If that's the case then I don't know, but that's about as deep as I go", goes the lyric over the top of this blend.

Then there is the wonderful 'Misunderstanding' -- the second single which features a simple but beautiful and brilliant double vocal part overlaid on one another and a measure behind -- which when performed live emphasizes the importance of Tom having come out from behind the drums (where he ;played the first album's worth of tours at least) to jointly front the band with Alex. These vocals work incredibly well recorded, but are just as haunting and wonderful live.

'Cold World/Starry Night' is another pop tune, gets catchier every time you ehar it, and features off-beat punchy guitar hits over driving piano and adds some classic almost 'lounge' vocal backing in the breakdown, just for good measure. Nobody has done this in forever. Ba da da! Fucking genius. Better than the Beatles. And then just when you think you have it pegged, they meld into a far heavier rocked out ending that gets out out of your chair.

Probably the best indication of their range -- it's not all pop-rock indie thrills and frills, not that there would be anything wrong with that -- are songs like 'Woken By A Kiss' and the two part title song 'No Need To Be Downhearted'. I strongly recommend you check out the archived live set at KRCW to check out the live version of 'No Need To Be Downhearted part 2' they did as part of that set.





These all have interesting structures, sound like they are departing a little form the theme at points but in the end blend with the rest of what is here on the album. The best of the bunch is....

'Woken By A Kiss' starts with an almost dischord jarring guitar sequence, over a slow kick drum pattern. This intro blurs into a verse where the melodies and sound reminds me of tracks off Blur's first album, before a stripped down chorus showcasing the vocal, and which sounds not quite like anything in the rest of the song, but that fits perfectly well with the rest of the song. After this structure has barely a chance to settle, the song goes somewhere else entirely, and is off into it's second and then third 'movements'. by the third movement the discord riff is back, but now it's heavier and backed with faster drums and a piercing screaming keyboard sound that drives to a crescendo.

The only recent band that has routinely been able to pull off this kind of shit is Muse. But these guys do it here and it totally works.

So,

... go buy this album. You won't regret it.

Dear Mr Parker

REPOST: July 2007


W. Douglas Parker
CEO US Airways


Dear W. Douglas Parker,

I write to complain about the treatment I received last week when I chose your airline as my means of transport on a short trip I took to Colorado. I demand to be compensated.

Now you must forgive me in advance. I have a lot to say and it may be that you don't wish, even maybe don't have time, to read it all. I hope you do. Maybe if it's too much for one sitting you could save it for a long layover on one of your future trips.

Anyway I wish to complain about the practice that I was exposed to on this trip. I arrived at the airport in Burbank, CA more than 90 minutes prior to my departure (Flight 256 to Phoenix, followed by flight 2914 to Colorado Springs). On check in I was confused and alarmed to discover that I had no seat assignment for the second flight, and on further investigation it turned out that this was what I'm lead to believe is called, in your trade, an 'oversold' situation.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but this practice, which I know is widespread, refers to that thing you do where you sell more tickets for a flight than there are seats on that flight for people to sit in. That is, put another way, you say that you are trading with me. I give you my $407, you agree to transport me from Bob Hope airport Burbank, CA to Colorado Springs airport, Colorado Springs, CO), via as many or few other places as we both agree to. But in fact you are doing no such thing, because in this instance you actually do not have the service that I have already paid for. You are selling me something you don't own. This seems a little (a lot?) unfair to me.

If I buy a cup of coffee, what I usually do is order it (usually I get a medium cup with 4 shots of espresso and some hot water -- just enough such that there is enough room left at the top to put some non-fat milk in) and then, having paid the person who is there to take my money, receive said item from the person designated to prepare it for me. In short, I trade my $2.65 for a service that the coffee company, at least a reliable one like Starbucks, can provide. I can drink it, pour it down the drain, whatever I like. I have the coffee, right then and right there.

Now I'm thinking that one of the reasons a coffee company, like Starbucks, is so successful, has maybe something to do with the fact that this is how they run things. You know, selling stuff they actually own. They are successful, I'm sure you'll agree.That kind of franchising does not happen by accident. I mean, there's a small strip mall just west of Calabasas that has two right opposite each other. I'm sure that's not the only place. They are freaking everywhere, man! I was delighted to discover that they just opened one in Trinidad Colorado. You know, they even have their own language. That drink I was telling you about? In official starbuck-speak it's called a quad (4 shot), grande (medium) americano (espresso with hot water), with extra room.

I found that I started having to ask for the 'extra' room because many of their barristas (translate: designated coffee preparers) play a little fast and loose with the concept of 'room'. I mean, I once had a cup with less space at the top than there is between seats 12D and 12F on one of your Canadair Regional Jets, or between the end of my knees and seat 11D, for that matter. I'm sure you know what I mean. Then again, maybe you only fly on big planes in first class?

Anyway. The point of all this? The point is that when I go into Starbucks, and order my quad grande americano with extra room, I'm pretty sure that I will get it (to drink, pour away etc). They do not tell me that unfortunately, my coffee is in an 'oversold' situation, and that they are currently soliciting other quad grande americano drinkers present who have flexible coffee drinking plans to give up their quad grande americano in return for a later quad grande americano and some voucher to purchase (from them only mind) any other kind of coffee, tea or refreshment that they offer.

You see where this is going? You are selling me something you don't own, and that bites. You should not be allowed to do this (though I know you aren't the only ones).

I'm reasonable. I understand that travel always involves risk. There is weather which is difficult to predict, planes need extra maintenance or need to be changed and so on. I understand all this. I know that 's the deal. These things happen and I know, and understand. I'm guessing you have an OK record -- what is it for that route? About 70%? Not overwhelming, but if someone can win the National League Batting title with a success rate of about 35% then who am I to argue? The winner in the American league may even do better for all I know, but as we both know the designated hitter rule renders the question, as in all things with the American League, moot.

Anyway, I get it. I might not get to where I want to go because of factors beyond your control. But surely, surely, the decision as to whether to sell more tickets than you have is your decision. Here's a suggestion. Why not, you know, not do it? Don't oversell so that this does not happen in the future.

At the very least, you should publish information for people who buy seats on these popular routes as to how they can avoid this situation. One, I later discovered, would appear to involve a peculiarly high level of masochism. Become a 'frequent flyer' on your airline? I'd love to, it's just that I can't get on the freaking plane in the first place because it's oversold. If at first you don't succeed....? Really?

The whole compensation thing is just way off too. You want me to accept, as recompense for you having potentially totally screwed up my travel plans, a voucher so that sometime in the future I can do the whole freaking thing again? I don't think so.

And I mean, it's not even as if it's *you* who has to take the flak from the poor saps (like me) who get the short end. It's people who work on the ground and in the cabins. People like Craig from flight 2914 who had to wait on board the plane, sitting on the tarmac in 110 degree heat in Phoenix while the oversell situation was 'resolved'. The poor guy must have lost 20lb in fluid. He still did an awesome job, once we took off, by the way, but frankly you are not helping him any. You should really give him a raise or something.

I know. If you give him a raise then your margins get even tighter and this whole oversell thing becomes more critical to9 do. So buy him a drink instead. I bet your salary is higher than his.

Anyway, you'll have noticed, if you are still reading (maybe you're on an extra long layover because your flight was oversold? Then again, I suspect this sort of thing doesn't happen to you very often), that I made it on the flight. Yes I did. So why the complaint? What recompense can I possibly ask for?

Well it's the stress and uncertainty you see. I can take the regular travel stress -- I get it, like I said before. But having arrived, in the end, in Colorado, I was a changed person. Now I have the whole worry of whether or not I will get home on time or not. Not because of weather or aircraft mechanics and the like ... but just because you have sold me what amounts to a lottery ticket, rather than a plane ticket. There's a good chance of winning for sure, but frankly if I wanted a lottery ticket I'd get one. I need to get home.

So, Mr Parker, I am asking you to compensate me for the sleepless night I spent in a hotel room in Trinidad, CO, wondering if I was going to get home, given the extra worry of the 'oversell' rearing its ugly head.

Now, a night's sleep is a hard thing to place a value on, as I'm sure you know given the state of the airline industry these days (can anyone say chapter 11?). So, I'll settle for being compensated the cost of the extra cup of coffee I had to buy in the morning of my return flight to make the drive back to the airport safe.

Luckily for you, I bought it at a 'regular' Starbucks and not in the airport. Do you know that those franchise masters actually have the gall to charge upwards of a dollar more when you buy their stuff in an airport? I guess they know that they have you over a barrel.

Or maybe the airport charges them a shit load of extra rent because they know that a coffee house in an airport is a pretty good gig. Maybe it's a little of both? While I have your attention could you look into that for me?

So, with the greatest respect Mr Parker, please can I have my $2.65 back?

Sincerely,

Tamsin Cleo German

p.s. What does the W stand for? It's just that I can't help thinking of one of favorite English curse words.